So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Why is your signature on my underwear?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
