your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
