Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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