you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
