it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
