This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
