If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
that's an acceptable place to lick
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Randomize
