do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
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