so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
this hospital has no fireball
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
