I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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