So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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