You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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