some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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