i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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