You made me cry and you don't even care
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
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Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
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