Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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