I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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