I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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