id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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