Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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