A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
