Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
