There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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