I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
