He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
