I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
