I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
