Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
