you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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