Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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