That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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