did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
