i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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