They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
pray to the hookup gods
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
