When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize