I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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