She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
