That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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