Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
