so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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