Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I think my moral compass just broke
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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