the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
