I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
