when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
