so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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