she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
