How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Randomize
