hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
