dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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