dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
