i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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