No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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