If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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