Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
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She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
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I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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