wanna go halves on a baby?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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