I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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