I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Randomize
