my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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