if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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