Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I want her autograph on my taint
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
