wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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