we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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