i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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